Employee's lingo

I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I’ve used Microsoft Office. I’M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies. MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don’t ask me about all the jobs I’ve had. I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes. I’M PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers. I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer. I AM ADAPTABLE: I’ve changed jobs a lot. I AM ON THE GO: I’m never at my desk. I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, I’m outta there.